


[He] Wouldn't Be Gone

by turningthepages



Series: He Wouldn't Be Gone [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breakup, Broken Heart, Emotionally Hurt Castiel, M/M, Making Up, Mild Smut, Misunderstandings, Sad Dean, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Weddings, breakups and makeups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:45:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turningthepages/pseuds/turningthepages
Summary: Dean knew Cas left him the night before he was going to propose because Cas didn't want to marry him. He knew by the way that Cas went completely MIA that Dean hadn't been the best partner he could have been. And now he was about to see Cas, nearly a year after their breakup at a wedding nonetheless. It hurt like hell but Dean was going to get through the night... probably with the help of alcohol.Maybe if Dean would have been better during their relationship Cas wouldn't be gone.





	[He] Wouldn't Be Gone

He was going to get through the night. He'd have to drink himself half to death but he was going to get through the night so help him God.

He just had to keep reminding himself that this was for Anna, who was his friend. His friend that he cared about more than his own bruised ego. His friend who he'd known since high school and therefore owed it to her to be at her wedding. His friend who was related to the man who tore his heart to pieces and left him a raw bloody carcass on the floor—the same man who would inevitably be at said wedding. 

Anna was his friend. He could face his broken heart for just one night. But hell, was he grateful that there would be an open bar. 

Yeah, he should have been over it… it’d been a year. And to his credit he no longer felt like a raw, festering wound but now more an irritatingly itchy, uncomfortable piece of healing skin. Still, all that time didn’t exactly prepare him for what he’d feel like as he got into the only pair of slacks he owned and attempted to scrape the grease and oil from beneath his fingernails. A giant ball of panicked anxiety—that’s what he felt like. 

He might have downed two shots of whiskey before grabbing his keys to head out to the venue. It’d been a rough year. 

His liver agreed. 

He got to the church at the perfect time—not too early that he was forced to make awkward small talk with the other guests, but not too late that he’d be considered rude. Though he wanted to make himself as invisible as possible, Anna truly was his friend and he didn’t want to be sitting back row as she married the man of her dreams. Sucking up his pride he walked, eyes down, to find a seat somewhere in the middle of the church. He didn’t recognize the woman with the baby he sat down next to, but based on the kind smile she offered him that immediately clued him in that she was on the groom’s side of the family. 

He’d been keeping his eyes down towards his lap, not wanting to accidently make eye contact with anyone from the family who’d so forcefully shut him out a year ago. He felt their burning gazes on the side of his face the entire time regardless. Eventually he was forced to look up when the music started and the wedding party began trickling in. Dean beamed when Anna walked in looking more radiant than anything he’d ever seen, she really did make a beautiful bride, he’d never doubted that. He was filled with happiness for her until he looked over at her soon-to-be husband’s face... His look was filled with joy and tenderness, and Dean couldn’t for a second doubt just how deeply in love the couple was and that—that just left to remind him how he’d lost his only chance at ever having that. 

Instinctually, his eyes roamed the room for _him._ It’d been a whole year of radio silence and yet Dean’s gaze settled on that tousled mess of chocolate hair in a matter of seconds, drawn to it. And not even to his surprise, cornflower blue eyes were locked on his immediately—the other man always did seem to have a sixth sense when it came to Dean’s gaze. Dean felt his breath catch as he looked at the man from across the room. 

A whole fucking year since he’d looked into those eyes. The sight made him physically weak as flashes of their time together came flooding back into his mind. They gazed at each other for no longer than a beat before Dean had to turn away. 

The wound he had thought was on its final stretch of healing had suddenly torn open, knocking the wind from Dean’s lungs. Even after the year apart, Dean knew for a fact that Castiel was still the love of his life and he was never getting that love back. 

He tried his best to pay attention to the ceremony. Tried to listen to the words of devotion and ever-lasting love that were spewed in excess throughout the couple’s vows. He tried. He really truly did but that didn’t stop his mind from wandering back to the time he’d thought he’d had that type of relationship. 

It was coming up on four years that he’d met Cas at a gas station of all places. He’d been in a hurry that morning and had forgotten his coffee mug on the counter as he ran out the door. Knowing he had a long day ahead of him Dean had to stop somewhere to get a large cup of caffeine and that Gas n Sip was the first place he found. He’d tried to be in and out, and was thankful that there didn’t seem to be anyone at the gas station at four in the morning. That is, until he went outside and was stopped by a polite man in a trench coat asking him if he knew anything about changing a tire. 

And well, of course Dean did. He was a mechanic after all. A mechanic who was late to opening the garage for a customer, a snarky old lady, who had specifically said she had no other time to bring her car in except for five in the morning. But the minute Dean glanced into the man’s blue eyes, he knew there wasn’t anything that could have stopped him from helping the man with his car troubles. 

Such an inconsequential moment it might have seemed to anyone else, but that moment completely changed Dean’s life. He’d changed the man’s flat with the spare he found in the trunk in a matter of minutes. The man, who introduced himself as Castiel, genuinely seemed grateful that Dean had taken the time to help him and asked if there was anyway he could repay him. And Dean being the smooth mother fucker that he is, insisted Castiel stop by the garage around lunchtime so Dean could change out his spare for a regular tire and check to make sure nothing else was wrong with the car—and hey maybe they could grab lunch then too. 

Dean knew he was in love within a week. 

They moved in together within a month. 

People told him he was crazy, that there was no way he could fall in love with someone so fast, that they barely knew each other and that their relationship wasn’t going to make it longer than six months. 

But Dean knew better. So when they broke ground on a piece of land to build their dream home on their sixth month anniversary, well, Dean could only smile. 

He knew it all happened quickly but damnit he didn’t care. He fell in love with the way Cas could make him laugh like no other with his quick, dry sense of humor. He fell in love with Cas’s desire to try every food at least once, even if Dean had some pretty gnarly acid reflux from some of those Middle Eastern dishes. He fell in love with the way Cas loved animals, and all other living creatures and could spend days holed up on the couch watching nature documentaries or reading books. He fell in love with the way Cas broke down his barriers and made Dean feel like he was worth having a love that profound. 

He probably should have known a man like him couldn’t be with a man as great as Castiel without crashing and burning. 

Somewhere along the road he must have done something wrong. He must have forgotten to tell Cas how much he loved him. Must have forgotten a birthday or an anniversary, or fell asleep during one too many at home date-nights. He thought he’d been good; thought that by the way Cas whispered such delicious words of praise into his skin each night as they made love, that he was enough. 

Clearly he wasn’t. 

The night—and Dean couldn’t accept that it was only a coincidence—the _night_ before he was going to pop the question, only a few weeks before their three year anniversary, everything had gone to hell. 

It was a Thursday. He came home to find Cas’s bags packed and loaded up into the back of his car. Cas had said merely three sentences to Dean before walking out the door of their home. Dean had ran after him. Of course he had. He’d begged, and pleaded, and sobbed—down on his knees—for Cas to just explain what he did wrong. To tell him what the hell he did. 

To let him fix it all. 

To make it better.

To please… 

_Cas, don’t do this. You promised you’d never leave me. You promised!_

_Why are you doing this?_

_Baby, tell me what I did wrong. I’m sorry! I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it._

_I’ll fix it._

_Just let me fix it._

Cas didn’t say a word. 

Dean thinks he died at that moment, watching Cas get into his car and drive away. Leaving him in their house they’d built together. The house that was now too big for Dean who’d lost the promise of a future they were going to fill it with. 

He lost his ability to breathe. For days he'd called everyone they knew to find out where Cas was. He'd driven all over town asking around, stopping at any place Cas might have ran off to. He sobbed on the phone to Cas's brothers, sisters, and cousins begging them to just let him see him once. Cas’s parents had actually slammed the door in his face. 

He wasn't even allowed to know if Cas was doing okay. If he was even safe. 

Dean felt himself wither away into nothingness. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to get out of bed. He didn’t want to have to face a day with pitying looks from everyone around or hear their smug ‘I told you so.’ And if it weren’t for Sam moving in unannounced, throwing Dean into an ice cold shower, and force feeding him three meals a day—well Dean was positive he probably would have lost his job during that time, and probably wound up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning. 

Aside from Sam, Dean had felt so completely alone during that time. All of his friends had become _their_ friends over the years, and suddenly spending time with them without Cas wasn’t as appealing to him anymore. He tried. He never said no to them if they asked him to come out. But his heart wasn’t in it anymore. 

It took months for Anna, one of his best friends from high school (it wasn’t until meeting Cas that he even learned the two were related; he use to like to believe he and Cas would have found a way to each other eventually), to even talk to Dean again. He was surprised that she even did reach out to him again, but she told him she’d feel a part of her was missing if he didn’t show up to her wedding. It was nice to have his friend back, even if she reminded him of Cas sometimes. She was silent on the subject of his ex but still treated Dean like she had use to. He didn't expect to ever really be in the Milton-Novak family good graces again, but at least he still had Anna as a friend. And now he was watching her get married. 

When the groom finally kissed his bride, Dean had a temporary reprieve from memory lane as they were all ushered out of the church and told to follow the cars towards the reception venue for cocktail hour. And so he steeled himself for avoiding unwanted conversations for as long as he had to make an appearance at the damn thing. He knew, just by the looks everyone threw his way, like he’d killed their first-born children, that he was undoubtedly the black sheep at the wedding. It was unnerving to be surrounded by so many people who hated him for reasons he didn't know, hearing half-cocked whispers of ‘I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up here’ behind his back. 

He couldn't begin to imagine the way Cas must have described Dean as a partner. He knew he wasn't a great one, he didn't do enough special things for his boyfriend as he should have. He was fully aware of his inability to share his feelings and let people in, but he’d been working on it. And fuck, he knew he didn’t take Cas out to nice places as often as he could have or brought him flowers just because but... he just didn't think he'd been so awful that it meant Cas's whole family needed to give him the cold shoulder.

Something awful settled in his gut. He’d come to the conclusion a while ago that Cas had likely found out that Dean was planning to propose and the man had realized a whole lifetime with Dean was exactly the opposite of what he wanted. It was the only thing that made sense watching Cas leave like a bat out of hell the day before Dean was going to ask Cas the big question. 

Dean figured his ex had probably only stayed with him out of convenience anyway. They'd invested a lot into that house; they built it from the ground up putting all their hopes and dreams of a long happy future into it. Maybe somewhere down the road Cas began resenting the five-bedroom home and the promise of the kids they’d talked about adopting some day. It wouldn’t surprise Dean if Cas had come home one day, finding Dean grease stained and sloppy, dead to the world on their large sectional couch, and finally realized he could do so much better than a GED wielding mechanic with no future prospects. Fuck, Dean never even noticed if Cas was showing signs of unhappiness—that’s how bad of a partner he had been. Cas leaving had likely been a plan that was well in the making. 

And Dean should have known better. Love at first sight was only for the movies. That shit didn’t end with happily ever after in real life. 

The cocktail hour was uncomfortable as Dean found himself hiding in a corner with a beer in his hand. No one even made the effort to come up and talk to him, not that he expected they would. He was grateful when his phone buzzed in his pocket, giving him something to do instead of standing around like a complete dumbass. 

_Sam: Hey, how’s it going?_

Sometimes Sam was a moose-sized embodiment of a mother hen, but he’d been Dean’s lifeline over the past year, and Dean couldn’t bring himself to lie to his baby brother after how much Sam had done for him after the breakup. 

**Dean:** Its shit Sammy

 _Sam: Have you seen him yet?_

**Dean:** Ya 

_Sam: You okay?_

**Dean:** I havent been ok in a year 

_Sam: I know, I’m sorry. Just try and focus on Anna for the night. And Dean, please don’t drink too much or get a cab if you do. I know that you’re hurting but that doesn’t mean you can drink and drive. You’re not invincible. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. Okay?_

How a dumbass like Dean had gotten blessed with a caring, thoughtful, genius like Sammy for a brother was incredible. He didn’t deserve how much Sam cared for his wellbeing one bit, but damn was he grateful for it. Doing his best to reel his emotions in he shot off a quick response. 

**Dean:** ok I wont 

_Sam: You’ll get through this. I swear._

Trying to take Sam’s words to heart he took a deep breath and pocketed his phone. He was going to get through the night. It hurt like hell, but he was going to do it. 

Eventually cocktail hour turned to dinnertime, which turned to sappy speech time, which turned to dance time. Dean could see Anna and her husband making their way around the room to greet everyone while people filtered on and off the dance floor. The reception had officially hit the point where most people were well past tipsy, borderline sloppy, and were all still energetic on the dance floor.

Dean had found himself a seat near the bar and away from the crowd of icy glares he just couldn't seem to avoid. He figured he only needed to last at least another hour before Anna would come over to say hi to him, then he could politely sneak off. 

The only problem was he’d already been at the bar for quite some time and he wasn’t exactly getting sober. 

He just needed the night to end. He needed to not be in the same place as the person who’d stolen his heart and refused to ever give it back. He needed to not have to look up and see Castiel leaning into a full body laugh or dancing with a good-looking younger man who was more in his league than Dean ever was. He needed to not have to see a bride and groom so thoroughly in love with each other when the person he’d wanted that with had all but vanished from his life. 

What he did need was another drink. Before he could flag down the bartender for the fourth time, a figured slid into the seat to his right. Dean didn’t even have to look to know who it was. "Is this seat taken?" They asked. 

And if Dean hadn’t already been struggling to breathe that voice would have done him in. The deep gravely voice hadn’t changed one bit, not that Dean really expected it too. It’d just been so long since he’d heard it that he was almost starting to forget the way it sounded... it hurt more hearing that voice again than Dean imagined it would have. 

Dean met the other man’s eyes timidly. "Cas..." 

"Hello, Dean." Castiel smiled kindly Dean’s way like nothing had gone down between them at all. 

Immediately Dean’s eyes flitted back to the oak countertop of the bar because nope. No. Dean couldn’t do it. He’d already had three drinks but he was now desperately in need of another one because hearing that greeting, that fucking greeting that had been so quintessentially _Cas_ made Dean want to crumble to pieces on the extravagant marble tiles. If he were going to not turn into a complete fucking wreck in front of his ex he needed some liquid courage. He downed the rest of his drink in one swift gulp and turned his back to Cas to make eye contact with the bartender. 

"Don't even think about it." He heard from behind him. 

Dean turned to look at Cas again who was adjusting his seat to look more directly at Dean while giving him a knowing look. "About what?" Dean asked trying to clarify. 

Cas gestured towards the drink in Dean’s hand. "Ordering another."

"I wasn't." Dean lied. But why did it matter if he did? Why did Cas care if he were ordering another?

Cas gave him a ‘don’t pull that shit with me’ look. Dean knew that look way too well—often came out when Dean said something negative about himself or withheld sharing something from his ex. "You were.” Cas deadpanned. “And you were going to insist you were good to drive right after. By my count you’ve had three glasses here already, on top of the beer from earlier."

Cas had paid attention to how much he’d had to drink? Dean didn’t understand. 

"No..." He tried to protest but it came out weak. Again, he turned back towards the direction of the bartender ready to insist this time on a glass of water to chug so he could get the hell out of there. 

Dean heard Cas sigh. "And when someone, likely myself, insists you call a cab, you'd down a glass of water and claim you were fine before leaving."

Dean turned and blinked at the other man, shocked. "Well fuck.” It might not have been eloquent but Dean wasn’t exactly good with vocabulary. “You always did know when I was going to do something before I did it." The laugh that followed his words was bittersweet. 

Castiel smiled a little. "You were always quite predictable to me." 

Dean didn’t know what to say to that. What even was this, Castiel coming up to him as if he hadn’t shut Dean out for an entire year? Dean figured it was some sort of obligated pleasantry Cas was expected to offer since he was a part of the bride’s family. Dean waited a few minutes for Cas to just up and leave, but he didn’t. Instead, Cas actually ordered himself and Dean a soda—no booze even though Dean asked politely. 

Dean distracted himself with the condensation on the side of the glass, not knowing exactly how to proceed in this situation. How did normal people start conversations with the person who broke their heart? 

“So uhm, how’ve you been?” It was the best he could think of. 

“How’ve I been?” Cas almost seemed shocked that Dean had said anything. When Dean nodded, Cas seemed to quickly find his footing and answered Dean’s question. “Oh yes, I’ve been good. Really good.” 

Well that made one of them. 

“Good. That’s good.” Dean responded automatically but didn’t say much else. He felt like his insides were trying to break out of his body. Why was it this painful to be sitting next to Cas again? 

Dean just sat there and kept waiting. Waiting for the moment when Cas would up and walk away, because why the hell would he be sitting next to Dean right now? He’d spent a year avoiding him… Dean didn’t even know if the guy was still living in the state he’d been shut out so hard. 

But Cas didn’t go anywhere. He actually turned to Dean with a smile on his face and started talking animatedly. 

“I’ve actually been working towards opening my own clinic soon. I just have to get a few things signed and it looks like it will all be under way.” 

Dean looked at him and offered a smile. Cas was a veterinarian and had been working for years as a partner at a clinic. He’d often talked about opening up his own but didn’t seem to have any urgency in doing so. It looked like he finally found that motivation. Dean really was happy for him. 

“That’s incredible. You’ve always wanted that.” 

Cas nodded. “I have. I’ve also been asked to be a regular guest speaker at the university lately, helping the students decide if it’s the career choice they want.” 

Dean could totally imagine Cas loving that. “That sounds right up your nerdy alley.” He joked. Cas just smiled briefly before continuing talking, surprising Dean since Cas was never one for sharing a lot. 

“Oh, and I’ve picked up running again. I’m going to be doing the Boston marathon next year. It’s been really nice getting back into it after a few years of not really making it as big of a priority. I’m surprised I still qualified. Regardless, it’s nice to be feeling this great again.” 

A searing pain went through Dean’s chest hearing those words. It’s not that he didn’t want Cas to be happy, in fact, he wanted nothing more for that man to get everything he could out of life—but hearing how his life had picked up so drastically after dropping Dean… it didn’t feel so good. It fucking killed him that he’d been such a deadweight to Cas all that time. Losing Cas had completely shattered Dean… but Cas had always been too bright a star to be stuck in Dean’s dreary storm covered skies. 

Dean stared down at the coke in his hands. “That’s good Cas.” He hoped his words came out less heartbroken as they sounded in his head. 

“Yeah, it is.” Cas sounded far off for a moment. Likely thinking about how good he had it now that Dean was gone. “What about you?” He asked suddenly, causing Dean to look up. “How are things for you?” 

“Oh, uh they’ve been alright.” 

“Are you still at the shop?” 

Dean nodded down at the countertop again. “Yeah. I don’t really have many other skillsets.” 

Out of the corner of his eye Dean could see that Cas was frowning. “Dean, that’s untrue.” 

A bitter sounded laugh escaped him. “Yeah. I’m not sure you’re right about that, buddy.” He knew it was self-deprecating but that didn’t make it any less true. All he knew how to do was work on cars. 

Yeah, Bobby might have mentioned giving the shop to Dean somewhere in the future but that’d require Dean to go back to school to get a business degree and well, Dean didn’t have the money or time for that. So, he was resigned to forever work on other people’s cars making a passable paycheck and eventually working under someone someday who was half his age and knew half the shit Dean did about running a shop. But that was Dean’s problem. 

Dean could feel Cas’s eyes boring into the side of his face. For a moment he thought Cas was gearing up to list all of Dean’s redeeming qualities in order to make Dean stop seeing himself so negatively until Dean relented—something Cas use to do on the regular when they were together. But they weren’t together and Cas didn’t care enough about him to say anything. Instead Cas changed the subject.

“How’s Sam?” 

Dean looked over at his ex and did genuinely smile this time. “Oh, Sam’s good. He’s—well he was living with me for a while there. But he finally moved in with Madison. I had to practically kick him out.” 

“I’m glad they’re still happy together.” 

“Yeah me too.” 

“And Bobby? I trust he’s well?” 

“Oh yeah. Bobby’s still kickin’ my ass on the daily. We’re about to throw him a sixtieth birthday in a couple of weeks. He’s going to be so pissed.” 

“I can only imagine. He always hated any kind of attention. I’m very glad he’s doing well though, I’ve missed him.” Cas’s half smile fractured something in Dean. Cas had grown so close to Dean’s small little family in their years together, he never really considered that Cas would have been sad to let them go. 

Images of Sam and Cas trying to ban together to make Dean eat healthy food, and Cas and Bobby plotting on how to get Dean to stop making excuses for not going back to school, suddenly flooded his mind and tore another hole through his chest. How he _ached_ to have that again. 

Dean couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t sit there anymore making awkward small talk with the only person he’d ever felt comfortable enough with to share all his hopes and dreams. He couldn’t sit there and accidently make eye contact with Cas’s mother whose features had seemed to freeze in a look of utter disgust whenever she looked at Dean. 

Emotion was starting to suffocate him and the last damn thing he needed was to end up saying or doing something stupid because of his heartache. 

Dean took a deep, steadying breath before standing up quickly. “Yeah, well… I better say bye to Anna or something and head out.” He could only summon a small grin as a means of saying goodbye to Cas before attempting to turn and walk away. It was rude and dismissive, but tears were prickling the back of his eyes and he wasn’t going to be the drunk dude who cried at a wedding. 

An arm rested on his own before Dean could actually take a step towards the venue’s front doors. “You’re leaving?” 

“I know when I’ve overstayed my welcome, and your mother looks like she’s ready to serve my head on a platter. It’s best I leave with my life still intact.” Dean knew that he should have just left then, but Cas’s grip tightened on his arm. 

“No, no, ignore her. She just hasn’t moved past everything that happened between us. Please, stay.” 

A stronger man might have been able to walk away at that moment and not look back. But the sincere look in Cas’s eyes and Dean’s inability to ever deny that man anything had him sliding back onto the barstool. “Yeah… alright.” 

And maybe Cas was perfectly content to be sitting and chatting with each other as if they hadn’t planned a life together at some point. Perhaps it didn’t bother Cas that at one point the two of them had spent a whole night coming up with names for their future children and pets. It probably didn’t even phase Cas that there’d been a time that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other and made it an actual goal to fuck on every flat surface around their home… a goal with which they succeeded in a weeks time. 

But it bothered Dean. It bothered Dean that the man he bore his soul to and was ready to vow his life too seemed completely unphased by being back in each other’s presence. 

So he ordered that other drink despite Cas’s look of disapproval. 

With a drink in hand he felt slightly more… well not comfortable but less anxious. It still took him a while to break the silence that had fallen between the two of them. What do you talk about with an ex you haven’t seen in a year? He figured it was safe to go with the questions he’d been wondering for a while. 

“So where’re you living now?” 

“Just down the street actually.” Cas shrugged indifferently. “Those new high-rise condos they’d been building a few years ago.” 

“Nice area. Good for you.” 

“Are you—are you still living...?” Cas’s voice trailed off but Dean knew what he was asking. 

“At the house? Yeah. I couldn’t really bring myself to leave even if it’s been a bitch to keep up with my salary. It helped with Sam there for a while but with him out—I don’t know. It’s probably time I looked for something smaller.” Dean spoke to his whiskey glass, not wanting Cas to see the way it broke Dean to think about parting with the only piece of Cas he had left… it’s why he hadn’t been able to leave that house despite struggling to pay the bills. 

Cas sighed. “Yeah... Maybe it is time.” 

There was a sadness to Cas’s tone. Dean figured it was because Cas might have wished he were the one that had gotten the house in the breakup. And if he were being honest, he didn’t know why Cas never asked for it. Cas had been the one to put down most of the money for it, and Cas had been the one who met with the contractors and designers and approved all the blueprints. Yes the house had things that Dean wanted—a large garage, a spacious backyard, a chef’s kitchen, exposed brick—but Cas had poured his heart into ensuring the house was fit for a growing family, and he had every right to take it from Dean. 

Dean shook his head not wanting to think about that anymore so he changed the subject, asking the next question that came to mind. 

“So… uh…. Are you seeing anyone?” 

No he didn’t _want_ to know the answer but he felt like he needed to. Too many nights over the past year he’d cried himself to sleep wondering if Cas had already found someone to make him happy. If Cas were lying in that person’s bed at night dreaming up a new and better future than the one Dean was planning with him. He thinks he needed the closure and the only way to get that was to hear that Cas had moved on. 

“I’ve been on a few dates, yes.” Cas spoke, not making eye contact with Dean. “Are… are you?” 

Dean could feel his bottom lip tremble hearing that affirmation… he was totally going to fucking cry. Cas had moved on and forgotten about Dean, and now Dean was going to cry like a small child in the middle of a crowded ballroom. He took a drink of his whiskey before answering with a watery voice. “No. No. I haven’t even thought about it really.” 

“Oh.” Is all Cas said in return. 

It was silent between them for a while, neither of them knowing what more to say. Dean took the time to get his emotions under control. Eventually the lights dimmed and the bride was asked to come onto the floor for her father daughter dance. Both Cas and Dean swiveled in the bar stools to face the dance floor and watched as Anna and her father swayed around the room together. It was a beautiful scene to watch. 

“The lighting looks like stars.” Dean finally spoke into the silence between them. He had a smile on his face seeing Anna crying happy tears as her father clearly said something heartfelt to her. “Anna always loved stars, I remember how she’d always say she believed falling ones were Angels leaving heaven to come to the earth.” 

Cas smiled admiring the twinkling lights that were draped in a canopy above the dance floor. He looked over at Dean with a wide smile on his face as if he’d just remembered something wonderful. 

“What is it?” Dean asked curiously. He used to love when Cas got that dreamy look on his face. 

“Do you remember the time you took me to see the meteor shower?” Cas asked and Dean’s cheeks heated as he nodded. Cas just smiled as he took them back down memory lane. “I remember you were so excited that you’d kept it a ‘secret’ from me the whole ride there. We got to that giant open field and you still wouldn’t tell me why we were there, even though I’d already figured it out. I just didn’t have the heart to tell you even as you tried to set up the blanket…. I still remember your face when I had to break it to you that the shower wasn’t supposed to happen until the following night.”

“I felt like such an idiot. I’d wanted to do something nice for once and I managed to screw it up by getting my dates wrong.” 

“It was still sweet though, no ones ever wanted to do something like that for me before. And I remember loving how sure you were that you kept that secret from me so well.” Cas laughed at that before looking at Dean, smiling. “You do know you were terrible at keeping secrets right?” 

“What?” Dean asked, mildly insulted, but laughing nonetheless. “No I wasn’t.” 

“Yes you were. Like the time you’d tried to throw me a surprise party for my birthday. You were so upset when I told you I’d known about it for weeks.” 

“That’s not fair,” Dean said with a playful nudge to Cas’s shoulder with his own. “Party planning is hard to keep a secret.” 

“Admit it. You were terrible at keeping secrets.” 

“Okay, I was.” Dean laughed heartedly. It felt nice to be able to laugh about Dean’s inability to keep secrets from the other man. He was glad to see that they’d at least moved past the awkwardness from earlier and could joke about their time together. That’s why he felt comfortable enough to say what he did next. 

"I'm still surprised you knew about the proposal though. I thought I kept _that_ one a secret really damn well." He sipped at his drink and smiled timidly at Cas. He hoped Cas would take it for the light joke it was, and not a jeer at their breakup. He didn’t want to go back to a stilted conversation. 

Cas’s head tilted in confusion. "Proposal?"

"Uhm yeah?"

"What proposal?" The unassuming look on Cas’s face surprised him. Dean looked at Cas like he’d grown another head. It hadn’t been that long since everything went down, so he didn’t understand why Cas was so confused. 

"The one I was planning for you?" It came out like a question. 

In a matter of seconds, Cas’s face paled. 

"What?" The words were barely a whisper as they left Cas’s lips. 

Dean’s face was painted with confusion. Why was Cas acting like he didn’t know? "Cas, it's the reason you left me."

"What are you talking about?"

Dean’s heart was thrumming in his chest. Why was Cas doing this? Dean looked at the other man who appeared to be trembling. 

"You said that it wasn’t the type of relationship you wanted… that you didn’t think I’d ever do that.” Dean explained, though, Cas still didn’t seem to register what Dean was saying. 

_I never thought you'd do this Dean! I didn't think you were that type of guy. Was this really the type of future you thought I’d want with you?_

"Dean you were cheating on me." 

"What?” Dean sputtered, looking at his ex in disbelief. How could Cas have ever thought that? Dean would have _never_ even entertained the idea of being with someone else. This was why Cas left him? “Are you serious? Cas, I was going to ask you to marry me."

Castiel’s head shook side to side in incredulity. "No. No you weren't."

"Yes, yes I was.” Dean asserted. “On my life. You broke it off with me the night before I had it all planned."

Cas’s eyes went wide as his hands pressed to his mouth and Dean could see tears forming in those baby blues. He was still shaking his head frantically. "No. No. That's not possible."

Dean’s heart rate was now threatening to kill him. All this time Cas had thought Dean was cheating on him? He had no idea Dean was going to ask to marry him? 

"You didn't know?"

"Of course I didn't know!” Cas shouted, causing a few people around them to stare. He was now running his fingers through his hair and Dean could feel the panic coming off him in waves. “If I would have known do you think I would be freaking out right now?"

"You really thought I'd cheat on you?" Did Cas really think that low of him? 

"You weren't home that much anymore. You'd be out late and come home and hardly even touch me. You’d been texting a woman named Lisa asking to meet after work. I just....” He trailed off for a moment before unadulterated fury came over him. His glare became harsh as he rounded on Dean, shouting loud enough that the tables in their immediate area could hear every word. “No. Don’t lie to me now Dean Winchester. You were cheating on me!"

Dean threw his hands up, almost reaching for Castiel but pulled back when Cas flinched away. "I never would have done that to you Cas. I was just working more to buy a ring that wasn't going to turn your finger green. And Lisa was the woman designing it. I’d been meeting her to make sure it was exactly how I wanted it to be."

"Dean… no. That can’t be true. You were cheating.” 

Dean had never seen sorrow on Cas’s face like that before. And it broke his heart to think Cas had spent a whole year believing Dean was enough of a scumbag to cheat on him. He needed Cas to know that Dean could have never done that to him. He reached over and rested his hand on Cas’s forearm, and this time the other man didn’t pull away. 

“I wasn’t. I never would have done that to you.” Dean’s words were rich with honesty as he bore into those dejected eyes. 

“I thought…” 

Dean shook his head, cutting Cas off. Dean knew what he thought. He knew Dean wasn’t good enough of a guy to be able to handle a long term, healthy relationship. But that’s what it took for Cas to break free of their relationship and start doing things that made him happy again… so even though it killed him, Dean knew Cas was better off for it. 

"It's okay. It's in the past.” Dean said, brushing off whatever Cas was going to say. “And from what it looks like, you're doing great. So you probably did yourself the biggest favor getting rid of me." He downed the rest of his drink and stood up. "Look, I'm going to head out. I really am fine to drive." He pulled out some money and hastily threw it in the tip jar—he felt his skin burning with his barely restrained emotional outburst rising to the surface. He just needed to get the fuck out of there. 

His feet started to lead him away before he stopped in his tracks and turned back to Cas. His words were sincere as he spoke "I'm so glad you're finally happy. It's all I've wanted for you, Cas."

Tears were flooding his vision as he walked away. He didn’t know if he’d make it to his car before breaking into sobs. He knew it was rude to not stop and say bye to Anna but being in that room any longer would have caused too much of a scene. He was practically jogging out of the ballroom and into the lobby of the hotel the reception was being hosted at. 

He made it halfway through the busy lobby—filled with wedding guests who were taking a breather as well as business men and women checking in—before he was stopped by a loud shout behind him. 

"I've been lying!"

Dean turned around to see Cas standing ten feet away, looking completely distraught. "What?" Dean could barely recognize the voice that came out of his mouth. 

He watched as Cas took a few steps forward, hesitant to stand too close. "All that talk of me being happy with the things I’m doing in my life. I’ve just been forcing myself to do all of it because it means that I keep myself busy. I just… I just wanted you to think I was doing better off than I really am.”

"Why?"

Cas’s laughed a watery and frail laugh, tears were starting to stream down his face. "Dean, I've been miserable all this time. Leaving you and the life that we built... it tore me to pieces. And seeing you here tonight, looking so _good_ I just wanted you to... to realize that I was better than—that I was better than Lisa…” 

"Cas..."

"If I would have known.... If you would have just told me…"

Cas was struggling to breathe, he looked ready to break down into hysterics. Dean reached forward, instinctually wanting to comfort him until Cas’s words finally resonated in his mind. _If you would have just told me…_

And suddenly Dean was furious, hot angry tears pouring down his face as he shouted. "You didn't even let me talk to you! You just left. I tried for months, _months,_ to talk to you Castiel! I called everyone. I went everywhere to find you! I tried so damn hard to just figure out why the hell you walked away from me, from us! I knew I wasn't the best at being a boyfriend but you just walked out on all of it. You shut me out!"

Dean didn’t care that they were causing a scene he was too hurt to care. 

"I thought you cheated!” Castiel cried. “I thought you cheated on me Dean. I couldn't even look at you it hurt so bad!"

"I would have never done that to you!” Dean heard his voice echo through the lobby. “I loved you so damn much and I _knew_ you were always too good for me—no one would have ever been better than you. God the thought of ever betraying your trust like that makes me sick. I could never have done that to you. Never. You were the love of my life.” 

A loud choked sob escaped Cas’s lips. "Dean..."

Dean shook his head. He couldn’t handle it anymore. "I gotta go."

He turned and ran out the door, ignoring the rude remarks from the people he accidently bumped into on his haste to get out. He sprinted to the parking garage at the side of the hotel, running to his car. His hands were shaking so hard he couldn’t get the key in to unlock it. 

He felt a hand on his arm, halting his attempts at unlocking the door. “Dean, please.” Dean shoved off the hand and went back to trying to unlock the door, finally succeeding. “Please Dean. Don’t do this.” Ignoring him still, Dean attempted to open the door but Cas had thrown his body in the way. “You’re not okay to drive. Please, Dean. Stop.” 

“What do you want from me Cas?” He howled, taking a few steps back. He felt like he was going to pass out. 

“Stay! Let’s just talk about this.” 

“Talk about this?” Dean wrung his fingers through his hair. He was so angry at Cas for not trusting him… for shutting him out because of something he never did. “You didn’t talk to me for a year! A whole fucking year Castiel! You shut me out, not the other way around.” 

“I know. I made a mistake.” Castiel was unabashedly crying now, leaning up against Dean’s Impala. 

And Dean hated it. He hated seeing Cas being so hurt. He hated that it was because of him. They’d been in each other’s presence for only a few hours and he managed to hurt him. He wasn’t good for him—Dean knew he was poison, he knew Castiel got out at the right time. Dean probably would have fucked up somehow later. He still had never gotten the hang of being a good partner. Fuck, if Cas had believed that Dean would cheat—that was evidence enough that Dean wasn’t meant to be with someone. Especially not with someone as perfect as Cas. 

Dean took a moment to steady his breathing. “No. You didn’t.” Dean assured him. 

Cas looked up confused. “What?” 

It took every ounce of strength Dean had in him to say what he did next but he knew it was better off for Cas if he did. “Cas, you need to turn around and go back into that party. Spend time with your family and have a good time. Go open up your clinic, save all the animals, and be happy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to find someone good for you and I’m not that someone. I never loved you like I should have. I should have loved you better. And I’m so sorry for that.”

The way Cas’s whole body shook as he tried to walk closer to Dean. It broke Dean’s heart. He’d never seen Cas this hysterical before. “You loved me just the way I needed.” He tried to close the gap between them, but Dean pulled away knowing that if Cas touched him he’d crumble. “You did Dean! That's why it killed me so much to think you could do that to me. To just give up what we had."

"See?” Dean moved over to stand next to his car, changing positions to where’d they’d been previously. “You need someone who'll love you better than that. Someone you'll never have to doubt their love. I didn't give you that and you thought I'd betrayed you. You deserve someone perfect for you Cas."

"I already found that person." Cas whispered… 

And if Dean weren’t hurting enough, those words might have actually killed him. He knew whoever Cas had been dating recently was probably so good to him, probably treated him like a fucking king. Probably made Cas laugh and smile more than Dean ever had. 

Dean looked up, blinking back the tears that never stopped pouring as he said what quite literally felt like the embodiment of ripping out his own heart. "Good. So go be with them."

"Aren't you going to ask who it is?" Cas asked quietly. 

Dean’s eyes squeezed shut as he tried to hold back a sob. He shook his head, unable to compose himself. When he finally did look at Cas, he nearly fell to his knees with sorrow as he spoke. "I know it's been a year, Cas, and I should probably be over it. But the thought of you with someone else makes me feel like I'm drowning, like I will never be able to breathe again. So no, I'd rather not know, if that's alright with you. Go… go be happy with whoever it is, okay? I _want_ that for you."

He turned away, frantically wiping the tears from his eyes as he opened his car door. Letting go of the man he loved felt like searing his soul in two but he knew it was for the best. 

Right before he climbed into his car he heard Cas choke out, "It's you."

Dean turned back around, seeing Cas closing the gap between them in a few strides. "What?"

Suddenly, Cas’s hands were cradling his face, wiping away the tears and Dean was helpless to lean into the touch. "The perfect person for me is you. It was always you."

"Cas..."

"Dean, I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. I should never have doubted you. I never should have walked out that door."

"What are you saying?" Dean knew he was a blubbering fucking mess but he didn’t care… he didn’t care. Cas was touching him. Cas was there with him, with tears streaming down his face to match Dean’s own. 

"I'm saying I'm so sorry for hurting you, baby. I wish I could take it all back. I know there’s a strong chance you might not be able to forgive me but I want to prove to you how sorry I am. I want another chance."

"You want me back?" Dean sobbed in disbelief. 

Cas nodded his head desperately. "I want you back. Forever. I want to come back home."

There was no way to prevent Dean from crumbling then, falling into Cas’s chest as he let out loud, painful weeps as they sank to the ground next to the Impala. His body was flooded with feelings of relief, sorrow, and joy all at once. Not even for one second had Dean pretended that this could have been the way the day would have ended. Never in a million years did Dean think he stood the chance at ever getting his love back. He cried, and he cried as he felt Castiel rocking them back and forth whispering against Dean’s temple. 

"I'm so sorry my beloved. I'm so sorry."

"Don't leave me again." Dean pleaded into the itchy fabric of Cas’s tux. 

He felt kisses pressed against his hairline punctuating Cas’s word. "Never. Never again. I swear to you.” 

Fat, ugly tears still poured down his face as he looked up at the man holding him. He wanted to be embarrassed for being such a baby but Castiel too had tears on his face. Slowly he reached his hands up that he’d had clenching Cas’s jacket and to placed them against Cas’s face. He pulled the man to him, kissing away the tears on his cheeks. Castiel sighed a broken little sound before turning just enough to capture Dean’s lips in a kiss. 

It wasn’t their best kiss… no, that kiss was reserved for the first time Dean had ever said he loved Cas, but this kiss, this kiss was laced with healing powers and it soothed the deep canyon that had been fractured into Dean’s heart the minute he saw Cas walk out the front door. 

“Let’s go home.” Cas whispered as they pulled back just a fraction. Dean could only nod in response. 

It took one more soft kiss before they pulled themselves off the rough asphalt of the parking garage. Dean didn’t wait for Castiel to insist on driving before handing his keys over and walking around to the passenger side of his car. 

They didn’t say much as they drove, both still a little too raw with emotion to do so, but when Cas reached his hand across the leather seat, Dean didn’t hesitate to take it in his own. 

It couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes that they pulled up the long gravel driveway that led up to their home. Dean suddenly stiffened in his seat and felt himself heat in embarrassment when he looked at the overgrown grass and weeds he’d let get out of hand after letting go of their landscaper, and having no desire to do it himself. 

If Cas cared about the unpolished look of the yard, he didn’t let it show as he pulled the car into the garage on the side of the house and shut it off. Both men climbed out of the car. There was an air of uncertainty floating between them as they walked up to the garage door and into the house. 

Again, Dean felt a bout of shame wash over him and he looked around the place. Piles of empty takeout containers were littering the coffee table. Throw pillows and blankets were in complete disarray on the floor and couch. There was a noticeable layer of dust covering most of the flat surfaces. The kitchen had dirty dishes piled up, the trash was due to be taken out, and Dean’s pretty positive he hadn’t mopped in a couple of months. 

“If… If I would have known… I would have cleaned up…” Dean muttered under his breath. Cas probably thought he was a goddamned slob. 

“I don’t mind.” Cas reassured him, taking his hand and walking towards the stairs. He stopped to look around for a moment, taking in the home he’d been away from for awhile. “That’s a lot of takeout.” Cas observed with a laugh nodding his head towards the coffee table. 

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t cook so much anymore.” 

“Why not? You love cooking.” 

“It…” He didn’t know how to word it without making it sound pathetic. He scratched the back of his neck before he spoke. “It kind of lost its appeal when… when I stopped having someone to cook for.” 

Dean knew immediately that he shouldn’t have said that as Cas’s crestfallen face looked over at him. “Dean…” 

“No.” Dean asserted, cutting him off. “Don’t. Don’t apologize right now.” 

“I need to. I need to apologize for causing you so much pain.” 

“Then I should be apologizing too.” Dean argued. 

“You didn’t do anything.” 

“But you thought I did! That still caused you pain!” 

“That’s—that’s not the same.” Cas started pacing back and forth, obviously upset. “I should have talked to you. I should have figured out for certain if what I suspected were true. I should have fought harder instead of just running away.” 

“It’s okay.” Dean said softly as he reached out to still Cas’s movement. 

“No! It’s not okay.” Cas argued but complied with Dean as Dean pulled Cas’s body closer to his own. 

“Kiss me.” Dean demanded softly, changing the subject. 

“What?” 

“Kiss me.” He repeated. “Right now I need you to kiss me. We can deal with everything that happened between us tomorrow. But right now I need to feel your hands on me and know that this is real.” 

The words must have broken through to Cas because in a matter of moments his hands gripped Dean’s waist and his lips ghosted across Dean’s. “This is real.” He whispered before pressing firmly into the kiss. 

Dean completely melted into it, relishing in the way those chapped lips fit so perfectly against his own. It grew hungrier and more desperate as Dean begged for entry into Cas’s mouth, tangling their tongues together in a battle for dominance. Suddenly, Dean was pressed against the wall at the bottom of the stairs as Castiel molded every curve of their bodies together. It was impossible to contain the moan that escaped him at the feel of Cas’s solid form against his own. 

It’d been too fucking long since his fingertips had felt the solid muscles of Castiel’s back, rippling and rolling as Cas moved to lift Dean’s legs up and around his waist. Dean’s head hit back against the wall in a groan as the movement of being lifted up had Castiel’s body rubbing right against where Dean was hardening in his pants. Cas took the exposure of Dean’s neck as permission to kiss and bite, sucking a mark right at the juncture of Dean’s neck and shoulder. A full body shudder washed over Dean at the feeling of Cas claiming him with that little mark. 

Frantically, Dean pulled Cas back into a kiss, pulling his lower lip into his mouth and sucking, drawing a deep moan out of Cas, just the way Dean knew it would. He was dizzy with need. He needed more. So much more. But less clothes. Less clothes now. 

It took an unreasonable amount of strength to pull himself away from Cas’s kiss in order to beg for what he needed. “Take me… take me to bed.” 

Castiel nodded and released Dean from his hold, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him up the stairs towards the room they once shared. Immediately, once in the room, Cas’s hands were sliding down the front of Dean’s shirt, and pulling it out of his slacks before frantic fingers were doing their best to unbutton. Not having any more patience than his lover, Dean moved to push the jacket off of Castiel’s shoulders. It was a frenzied mess of curses and kisses and they each tried to rid themselves of the fucking button ups. Dean practically cheered in jubilation when he got the last of Cas’s pesky buttons undone. 

In no time Dean was surging forward, pushing Castiel back towards the bed. The other man tried to protest as he was still fumbling with Dean’s shirt. Not wanting anything to delay Dean from having what he needed, Dean brought his hands up to the opening and ripped it open and threw it off his body. Socks and shoes were discarded moments before Dean shoved Cas back on the bed, the other man landing with an oomph before Dean made haste unbuckling his belt, undoing the zipper, and ripping his pants and boxers off in one fell swoop. 

It was without hesitation that Dean gripped Cas’s hard, throbbing length, lowering his head until he engulfed it in his mouth. Dean shivered at the low growl Cas’s let out as his mouth worked him the way Dean knew he loved. Dean moaned around the heavy weight on his tongue, having missed the feeling of pleasuring his lover more than he knew how to explain. He sucked and licked, and bobbed his head just long enough for Cas to start falling apart but before he knew it, Dean felt finger’s gripping at his hair and pulling him up. 

Cas practically whimpered. “Later. Need you too much.” Dean smiled at him before moving to kiss him but Cas shook his head with a smirk. “Pants. Now.” He commanded and Dean complied immediately, dropping his pants and briefs without even unbuttoning. 

In moments he was crawling up the bed, straddling Cas, and lowering down to capture the other man in a heated kiss. He could feel Cas’s hands everywhere, roaming the plains of his back, gripping at his ass, squeezing his thighs—it felt like Cas didn’t know where he wanted to touch, that he wanted to be able to touch everywhere at once. A yelp of surprised escaped him as Cas flipped them over, pinning Dean beneath him and ground down pulling a satisfied groan from both men. Dean kissed Cas’s neck and shoulder as the other man reached away just enough to pull the lube from the side table. 

The moments after that went by rapidly as they continued to kiss and draw sounds of pleasure from one another as they reacquainted themselves with this closeness. As quickly and as gently as he could, Castiel worked Dean open with his fingers, leaving Dean a writhing mess of pleas and whimpers before _finally_ moving to line himself up with Dean’s entrance. 

Dean actually wept at the feeling of Castiel sliding into him inch by inch, the feeling too overwhelming for him to handle after all this time. But Cas, his gentle, loving, perfect, Cas just kissed away his tears and caressed Dean’s sides so tenderly. When he’d fully entered Dean’s warmth, Cas stilled, pulling back to lock eyes with one another. It brought another wave of tears to Dean’s eyes and he looked up at the man in his arms. He was overcome with emotion knowing he got to have this feeling again. He had Cas back with him. He had Cas’s fond eyes looking down on him like he was worth something again. He had the feeling of their bodies connected, allowing them to be with each other completely. 

Dean’s hands moved to cup Cas’s face, he could see the tears brimming in Cas’s eyes as well and Dean knew the other man was feeling the same was he was. 

“I love you.” Dean whispered, pouring every ounce of his soul into those words. 

Cas looked down at him in awe, like he couldn’t believe he had Dean there with him. “I love you too. More than anything in this universe, my beloved.” 

And that’s what Dean needed to hear. He needed to hear that he was loved again. That _Castiel_ loved him again. He surged up, sealing their lips together before locking his legs around Cas’s hips. “Move, baby.” He urged. “Make love to me.” 

Immediately, Cas’s hips pulled back before thrusting back in. Dean felt pleasure all the way down to his toes—it was heaven, nothing and no one could tell him otherwise. And maybe if they hadn’t been deprived of each other for so long they may have slowed it down and taken their time to just love each other lazily, but it’d been too long and the need was too immeasurable. Soon, Cas was thrusting into Dean hard and quick, leaving Dean to sink in nails into his man’s back as he moaned in pleasure at each push. Cas’s hand moved to wrap around Dean’s length and before he knew it Dean was tumbling full speed over the edge, screaming Castiel’s name. Moments later he felt Cas follow him over, releasing himself inside of Dean before collapsing atop him. 

Dean’s limbs remained wrapped tightly around Cas’s body as their heart rates and breath came down. He wanted to cry again. He wanted to drop down on his knees and thank high heaven for bringing this man back to him. He wanted to buy a thousand roses to send to Anna for getting him to the wedding. He wanted to worship the ground of the deity of flat tires that brought them two together in the first place. 

Cas came back to him… 

He could hardly believe it. 

He knew they had to build back together again, the past year proving that there were some deeply stored issues they needed to work through. He knew they couldn’t exactly just pick up where they left off. He knew that it’d take him some time to build back the complete trust he had in Cas before the breakup. He knew that he needed to step up to the plate and make sure Cas never doubted how he felt again. They had family members they needed to regain the trust of. They had a list of hurdles that they were about to face as they worked to put the pieces of their life back together. And it might be hard at first, but Dean knew there wasn’t any way he wouldn’t give his all to earn that future he’d planned with the love of his life. 

Besides, he still had a silver wedding band sitting at the back of his closet that still needed a place to call home. 

He smiled against Cas’s shoulder at the thought. 

“What’s making you smile, my love?” Cas asked with a few kisses to Dean’s jaw. 

“Just this, us… the future.” 

Cas pulled back just enough so that green eyes locked on blue. Dean felt Cas’s love radiating off of him, and Dean soaked it up completely. Delicate kisses were pressed to his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, and finally his lips before Cas spoke. When he did Dean heart surged with happiness. 

“I knew from the moment I met you that you were my future.” Complete honesty was laced in his voice. 

Dean beamed, “Thank god for gas station coffee and flat tires.” He said through his smile, right before pulling a chuckling Cas down for one more kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, that was far more emotional to write than I expected it to be but I'm really happy with how it turned out and I hope you all are too. I'd absolutely love it if you left me a comment and told me how you felt about this one! 
> 
> I have a couple more ideas in mind (and possibly in the works) based on songs by the titles:  
> Homegrown  
> There Goes My Life  
> What Hurts the Most 
> 
> So... if you're interested in ever reading one of those go ahead and subscribe so you won't miss them! 
> 
> <3 Paige
> 
>  [He Didn’t Have to Be](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9686360/chapters/21867404%20) Dean is 23 years old and raising his 3 year old brother Sam as his own. Castiel comes into their life and Dean falls hard and fast but quickly begins to question if he’s even worthy of being loved. Sammy is the most adorable toddler to ever live. 
> 
> [Don’t You Wanna Stay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634991) Cas has been in love with Dean since high school and when Dean and him go from best friends to falling into a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship Cas thinks he’s happy with the situation. But five years later Cas starts questioning if this is really the kind of life he wants. He loves Dean but he’s sick of getting hurt.
> 
> [Sleep Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775289/chapters/23899212) Dean and Cas have known each other basically all their life and are very close. Close as in, they sleep (and cuddle) in the same bed together every night but… they deny that they are together. During a weeklong trip with their friends the two start to figure out that there might be something more between them.
> 
> [There Goes My Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011787/chapters/27182904%20) (WIP) Dean never expected the night he was going to ask Cas to be his that Cas would come home with a baby. 
> 
> [Alright](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589315/chapters/26046594%20) (WIP) Dean’s grown up with a good head on his shoulders. Cas has grown up being overlooked, never knowing what friendship is. Dean makes it his mission to be the friend he knows Cas deserves.


End file.
